The Wonderlic intelligence test.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Stafford scored a 38 (out of 50) -- 10 points better than Mark Sanchez and 11 better than Kansas State's Josh Freeman.

Stafford's score also was better than some current pros of note. Tom Brady had a 33, Drew Brees a 28 and Chad Pennington, a Rhodes Scholar finalist, a 25. (Vince Young had a six. Which you pretty much can get by correctly identifying a cat.)

On the other end of the brain scale, wide receivers took a hit. Michael Crabtree of Texas Tech scored a 15, Darrius Heyward-Bey of Maryland a 14, Percy Harvin of Florida a 12 and Hakeem Nicks of North Carolina an 11.

Of course, scoring well on the Wonderlic isn't a perfect gauge of success. Brett Favre scored a 22, and Alex Smith had a 40.

In the Lions' case, though, maybe their front office should be forced to take an intelligence test before being allowed to draft.

Timing is everything

Pitcher Julian Tavarez finally signed with the last-place Washington Nationals after spurning several offers from the team. Asked why he changed his mind, Tavarez said: "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

Nothing quite like building his teammates' self-esteem.

No low-bridging here

Think Barack Obama's friends go easy on him and let him win during the president's famed pickup basketball games? The prez recently told Jay Leno: "I don't see why they would throw the game, except for all those Secret Service guys with guns around them ... (though) I don't think I get the hard fouls that I used to."

Clearly, Republicans aren't allowed to play. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure John McCain would have laid him out by now.

And finally

NASCAR's Jeff Burton to Newsday after he landed a cameo on the ABC soap "General Hospital": "I'm certainly not a good actor, and I don't have a Holly-

wood face by any means. When I go to the beach, whales gather around."

I think they already did that story line on "All My Children."

Quickly

Reader response: Righthanded Rick has a message for Lefthanded Louie: "Amen! I was thoroughly delighted when 'All the Answers' Packer was sent packing. But we're left with 'Saccharine Speak' Nantz. How he has lasted this long is beyond me. I have long dreamed of making the journey to Augusta for the Masters once in my life. What may prevent me? Having to listen to Nantz promoting the tournament with the sugar dripping off his tongue and the flowers growing out of his ears."