More smoke to distract Lions fans

One of the worst-kept secrets in the NFL this offseason is that the Detroit Lions plan to change their logo and color scheme. At some point. Maybe.

Assuming these rumors are true, the Lions actually deserve kudos for providing a brief distraction from the disaster that is their on-field product.

But aesthetic changes can only go so far. What if it's not enough? What if fans still notice what's happening in the wins-and-losses column?

Fortunately, the Lions don't have to stop with uniforms. Here are a few other ideas that could serve as Football's version of smoke-and-mirrors. (Unless, of course, the team actually starts winning. But all that would do is confuse fans.)

Turn the field Honolulu blue: Who says it needs to be green? A different hue works for Boise State. It might even confuse opponents.

Ditch the silver pants: Wouldn't it be more comfortable to play in a pair of shorts? More loose and freeing? Not sure where the pads would go, but I'm sure the people at Reebok could figure out something.

Ditch the shoulder pads: What is this, a women's blouse from the mid-80s?

Get a real Lion for a mascot: PETA probably wouldn't dig the King of the Jungle mauling a zebra at halftime, but fans would eat up the symbolism.

Return to the leather helmet: Everyone loves old school, and Wilson's Leather immediately becomes a major sponsor.

Instead of uniform numbers, go with symbols: And take the names off the backs of the jerseys. After all, it's hard for fans to yell at the QB if he's known simply as &$. (Although a nickname of "And Money" could be useful.)

Accessorize: Nothing distracts quite like shiny objects.

All atwitter

Milwaukee Bucks forward Charlie Villanueva is the latest to learn the danger of using Twitter. Using the screen name "CV31," he posted this tweet midway through a recent game via his cell phone: "In da locker room, snuck to post my twitt. Were playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up." Bucks coach Scott Skiles wasn't exactly thrilled: "We made a point to Charlie and the team that it's nothing we ever want to happen again."

Now, if he wants to simply update his Facebook status, that's another matter entirely.

Bracket buster

President Obama apparently hasn't learned his lesson. No, not on the economy, -- the NCAA tournament. Obama picked North Carolina to beat Louisville in the championship game, even though he did the same thing with the Tar Heels last year. Here's the message Obama gave to UNC, via ESPN: "For the Tar Heels that are watching, I picked you all last year -- you let me down. This year, don't embarrass me in front of the nation, all right? I'm counting on you. I still got those sneakers you guys gave me."

His NCAA pool entry doesn't count as an earmark, does it?

And finally

Has your NCAA tournament bracket already blown up in your face? Take heart. According to, the odds that you will have filled out your bracket 100 percent correctly: 1 in 150 million.

So they're saying there was a chance ...

Author: Fox Sports
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Added: March 24, 2009